The happiest place to pee on earth.

This week I went to crush cakes with one of my friends Callie. It was really fun and I learned a lot about Callie, and the cupcakes were great. If you ever want cupcakes definitely go to crush cakes, it it very fantastic.


We sat outside which was nice because the weather was nice. It was also really funny to hear her story and it was definitely a laugh. If you are going to Disneyland any time soon make sure you use this blog as a what not to do in terms of your trip. To have a good time at Disneyland definitely don’t do what this blog says.


“It all started 5 years ago when my brother was 8 or 9. We went to Disney land with my dad, uncle, mom, aunt, and grandma. We went on a bunch of rides and had a bung of fun. Then we went on the pirates of the Caribbean ride. When we got on my brother had to pee. He absolutely couldn’t wait. So we got out an empty bottle, while on the ride. My brother couldn’t aim at all. He peed all over the place. Even on the people in front of us. My dad tried to stop him and then pee got all over my dad. Right before the ride ended my brother zipped up his pants and  we seemed like a perfectly normal family. We all laugh about this all the time because we assume the family in front of us must hate us. they must want revenge because a random kid peed all over him on their pleasant trip to Disney land. At the time my brother was embarrassed, but now he laughs along with the rest of us. It is a day I never want to and never will forget.

Now, for the message from Callie Beaudette to all of you people: Go to the bathroom before entering a non stoppable Disneyland ride, If you think you absolutely can’t hold it know you actually can, and if you really super totally can’t hold it don’t attempt to pee in a bottle, it will only make things worse.

Offensive Squinting

This week I went to lunch with a family  friends named Becka Chester. Becka works as a interior designer and a while ago spent some time living in China and working there. She has always been a very good friend and always told me the best stories.


This story is about one time she was in China. She told me how at the time she did not think it was funny but afterwards she couldn’t help but laugh. She also said how she will remember that day for a very long time because, though embarrassing it was still hilarious.


“So, I was living in China, and one time I went to the store. I usually wear glasses and I didn’t have them with me for whatever reason, I can’t remember. Anyways, I was at the store and I wanted to read the special deals but I couldn’t because I did not have my glasses. As a young girl, before I had glasses, I had learned that if I couldn’t read something I could always pull down the edges of my eyes, kinda like squinting, and it would make the letters legible. At the time I didn’t see anything wrong with “squinting”. So, I was standing in front of a Chinese store clerk squinting trying to read the specials. If you haven’t figured out the problem by now I encourage you to think harder. My “squinting” offended her. She though I was mocking her and started yelling at me in Chinese, at the time it wasn’t funny. I hadn’t realized what I had done and I was very confused. So once I realized what I had done I felt awful and began apologizing to the lady, she understood and I proceeded to buy what I wanted from the store. All in all it could of been a much worse day, at least now I have a funny story.”

The message from Becka Chester to all of you is: If you need glasses cary them with you wherever you go, “squinting” often offends people of Asian decent, and don’t push it with that one, learning the hard way could get you in some serious trouble.

Karate may stop the bad guys but it doesn’t stop the nerves.

So, this week I went to lunch with my friend Eva Kershner. We got food from the student store, and it wasn’t that bad. We both attend Santa Barbara Senior High School and I hate the cafeteria food but the student store isn’t that bad.


Eva and I were enjoying our lunches and we decided to talk about memories. Memories are a great topic. I enjoy talking about them. Eva was telling me about her funny stories and memories and then I asked her that if she had to pick a funnies memory what would it be? She said it was to hard to choose one but this would be at the top of the list.


“So, I was in China taking a test for karate. I was really happy to be in China but I was nervous for my test. We stayed at this nice hotel and the night before the test I felt so nervous. Just after dinner we were in the lobby and I was so nervous I started to feel sick. Then I really started to feel sick and something happened and I threw up. I was just throwing up in the lobby and then I couldn’t stop. So my mom started yelling at me to stop and I felt really bad because I couldn’t stop and It was so awful. Everyone was looking at us and it was super awkward. So I started crying and I could not stop, and was just throwing up and crying in the lobby. So ya that day I was not very amused, but when I got home from the trip after passing my test I realized just how funny it was. My brother, mom, and whole family laughs about the story to this day, now I find it very amusing. I don’t mind telling the story now because I’m over it.”

Now, a message from Eva Kershner to y’all: Take karate it will protect you from things, if you feel sick evacuate public places, and if you are throwing up don’t cry, It makes things 100x worse.

The look of disappointment on a security guards face.

This week I interviewed Nicole Figueroa. We sat outside the English building at SBHS. We talked about laughing and lunch, and eventually we did so, we laughed over lunch. It was fun and I liked hearing Nicole’s story about funny stuff that happened to her, all in all it was a successful week with a fun interview.


I laugh whenever I think of this story and I find it very funny that this kind of stuff always happens to me. Since then I have done countless clumsy things. Just because I have gotten used to it doesn’t mean it isn’t any less funny to me or my friends when I fall.


“It happened a few months ago and I had just taken a test in my math class. I hadn’t finished my test so I had to get a pass to go to my next class and the class was already 1/2 over. So I’m walking down and I was like thinking because I’m really clumsy that it was a good thing I hadn’t fallen yet. And then all the sudden I fell flat on the ground and my stuff was all over. No one was there besides the security guard. And we made eye contact and he like looked very disappointed in me and then he just walked away. I told all my friends and we had a good laugh. Even though practically no one saw it, it was still really embarrassing and funny. Also when I came into class that day I was all beat up with cuts everywhere and I looked really frazzled. Ya, it was a really funny day. I still laugh when I think about the look on the security guards face, it cracks me up. Whenever I see the security guard he gives me that exact same look. A look of sheer disappointment.”

Now, a message from Nicole Figueroa to ya’all: Never be the last one to finish your math test, always expect the unexpected, and always watch where you are going because you are probably clumsier than you think you are.

You pitch to fast a common misconception.

So this week I decided to do something different. Something really funny happened to me, well it didn’t exactly happen to me I kind of brought it on myself. Definitely one of my funniest most embarrassing moments. If you play baseball or softball this blog might make a little more sense to  you, but either way it’s worth a read. This story takes place at home, not my house, home plate.


This story is definitely a catch. Ever since it happened every time I think about it I laugh and it is just really funny because it is so classic me. Softball games tend to make me laugh, and I like to laugh because it keeps me loose and I do better when i’m having fun. I’m really happy that I found something that makes me smile and that I can always count on to have fun when doing, everyone should have something like that.


So it was the bottom of the fifth inning. After the first inning we were down 8-0. By this time the score was 8-12 us, we had made a very large comeback. So, there were 2 outs and I was nervous because I had just had the ball it back at me, that is how we got the second out. But anyways this really tall girl was up and the count was 2:2 and I pitched a strike but the ump wasn’t ready. I was confused because the catcher was ready and it is hard to see if the ump is ready with all that stuff he wears. Also the game was almost over and I was really excited so I was moving very fast because I was worried we would run out of time. Then the ump said that the pitch didn’t count because he wasn’t ready and I was so confused but I pitched another pitch that was high and outside and she swung and clean missed. That was strike three so we went in but I stayed around home plate hoping to get the chance to ask the ump why my pitch didn’t count. But before I could say anything the ump looked right at me and said, “You pitch to fast.” and I said, “Thank you.” I walked into the dugout so happy that the ump had just complimented me when I realized that I had made a mistake. He meant that I had pitched before he was ready and I needed to take my time on the mound instead of pitching to fast and not waiting for him. I was so ashamed I pulled my visor down over my face and started laughing really hard. I totally had embarrassed myself in front of the ump. I told one of my coaches who laughed a bit. I then walked over to the part of the dugout that the trainer and pitching coach were sitting in. I told my pitching coach what the ump told me and she said that I needed to slow down, “You don’t get it I responded with thank you,” I said. She looked at me like I was stupid but it was OK because I felt stupid. But the trainer, my pitching coach, and I all laughed for a good 5 minutes.

Now,  a message from me, Katie Firestone, to all of you: Always make sure the ump is looking when you pitch, umps usually don’t just straight up complement you so know that, and always think twice before assuming someone is saying something nice about you, because it might be a common misconception.

Don’t Horse Around.

This week I had  a team lunch with my softball team here a Santa Barbara High School. All of either brought lunch, didn’t eat, got school food, or went off campus. We sat in between the softball locker room and the softball field. The right fielder and I both stayed on campus with our lunches, so I decided to interview her.


So, I was sitting with our right fielder Jazmin Heras and I decided to ask her about one of her funniest memories. She told me about a time she will never forget, one that always makes her laugh when she tells people, she laughed when she told me.



“I went to Mexico with my sister to visit our Aunt and Uncle. They live in a small town called Oaxa. I woke up at like 6 in the morning because I couldn’t sleep, oh ya and I was like 10 years old. So my sister and I walked around outside the house to look at the animals. So we saw the pigs and the chickens and everything and then we came up to some horses. It was my uncles horse, he races. So I wanted to feed it and I reached down to pick up some grass and the horse bit me. I felt a really hard pinch on my back and I didn’t know what to do. I was standing there will a horse attached to my back. My sister didn’t know what to do either, so she just started laughing and couldn’t stop. Eventually I did a motion and the horse dropped me and I ran. I didn’t want to tell my aunt what had happened because I was afraid she wouldn’t let me play with the horses anymore. So I went into the house acting like nothing had happened but my aunt saw the bit mark on my shoulder and new right away what had happened. They were all just laughing at me and my aunt still let me play with the horses.”

Now, a message from Jazmin Heras to all of you: Don’t horse around a horse, always tell a adult when you get hurt because they will find out anyways, and sometimes things can be so funny they  almost hurt, or can hurt so much it’s almost funny.

Non microwaveable ornaments

This week I went to lunch with one of my closest best friends. Karen Firestone. She is currently attending Berkeley and came up to SB for spring break. Karen picked me up at school and we drove to Backyard Bowl. Might I add that the food there is outstanding.


Karen and I caught up over lunch. We talked about all kinds of things and we also talked about memories. Some of my best memories have been shared with Karen so I decided to talk about them with her. Eventually we talked about funny memories. So, I asked Karen about her funniest memories, she told this one.


“So, I was a few months into the term at Berkeley and I had made friends with some of people on the floor. I was living in the dorms. One night I was FaceTiming with one of my friends back home when I heard a scream. I told the person on the phone that I had to go immediately. I went to go check out what was happening when I found out that it was coming from my friends room. By the way this happened during christmas time. So I went into my friends room and saw something very funny happening. My friend and his roommate had just boughten a christmas tree and some ornaments. One of the ornaments was dented. My friend, who was studying engineering at Berkeley had seen a video that said if you put a dented ornament in hot water it pops back to normal. So, my friend an engineer, put the ornament in a bowl of warm water and put it in the microwave. Then it exploded and that was what the scream was. It was so funny and we all laughed about it for a while. I especially thought it was funny because he was an engineer.”

Now, for a message from Karen Firestone to you all: Please don’t buy christmas ornaments from Target because some may be dented, if they are dented make sure to fix them properly and follow all directions, and if your going to study engineering at Berkeley please make sure you know what your doing.

The Danger of Taylor Swift

This week I didn’t really go out to lunch per say. I ate lunch like I usually do, with one person that I usually eat with. MAD’s very own Alegra Zuchowicz, also known as Aleg or Oleg. We sat outside like we usually do, and we both brought lunch, like we usually do.




After sitting for a while we began to talk about funny things. Particularly are funniest moments. Alegra had a few, and we laughed a while over this lunch. I also shared my memories, and a few of our other friends at lunch did as well. I can honestly say that sharing memories over lunch made our lunch more fun. Alegra decided to label this one as her funniest moment:


“So, I was in 7th grade and I was staying over at my friends house. And worshiping Taylor Swift like most heart broken 13 year old girls. Eventually we started dancing, because why not. The song was “Our Song” from her first album. Ever since then that has been one of my favorite songs. So we were dancing and acting out the lyrics. The lyric said something about a prayer, so I was pretending to pray. Then while I was dancing a curtain string in the room got caught around my neck, and I kept dancing . I proceeded to fall down, because I was still dancing. Then I fell on the bed, but as I fell the curtain did too. It came crashing down on my friend and we caught the WHOLE THING on video. We started crying laughing. Since then we have watched the video millions of times, and I always laugh when I think about it. We kept trying to put the curtain back up, and after many times failing we finally did it. The curtain still is in her room to this day.”

And now, a message from Alegra Zuchowicz to you: Never Dance while you prayer, never break a heart  because it can lead to broken curtains, and defiantly make sure you consider the danger of Taylor Swift before dancing in a confined space, because the danger is real.

I’m broke and trying to make it in New York City

Last Saturday I went to Fresco’s Cafe with one of my friends, Natalie Slayton. We had goat cheese salad, and sat outside. Sitting outside gave us a great view of the 5 points mall. I really enjoyed this lunch, and the story my friend told.


I haven’t gone to lunch with Natalie in a while. After reminiscing for a bit, we talked about memories. We have shared so many memories together, and we began to talk about them. We slightly discussed some of our sad, scary, and happy memories. Then we talked about our funny memories. Natalie told me this was her funniest memory.


“So one time I was on a trip to NYC with my family. We went out to dinner, and when I got home I realized I had forgotten my phone. I told my mom, and she felt really bad for me. My mom then texted the phone saying that a the phone belonged to a 14 year old girl and that she was really upset. My mom was staying in one hotel room, and me and my cousins in another. My mom was in her room when she texted the phone. When I walked into my hotel room I saw my phone sitting on the bed. I felt very stupid. Then my cousin had an idea, we call my mom back and pretend to be someone who found the phone on the street. So we call my mom, and she asks if  the person who had the phone would kindly give it back. My cousin began to bargain with her, then my mom said that they should just give the phone back and be nice. My cousin then said, “I’m a broke man trying to make it in New York City, I ain’t giving it to you for free.” After that I started laughing and my mom realized it was us. She was so mad, she asked us what our room number was, and we accidentally told her the wrong number. So my mom walks all the way to our floor, and starts banging on the door of the room next to us, thinking it was our room. We hear her banging and tell her she has the wrong room and that we were next door. She comes in and gets mad at us. After a while she leaves. When she walks outside she sees security talking to the people in the room next door.”

So, a message from Natalie Slayton to all of you: Never lose your I-phone in New York, never laugh when doing a prank call, and never bang on the door of a hotel room because it might not be the room you think it is.





The lion, the polar bear, and the zoo.

This week I went to one of my favorite places to eat out in Santa Barbara! D’Angelo Pastry and Bread. It has great food for breakfast, lunch, and brunch. They also make really good bread and pastries. I also went there with one of my favorite people, my aunt Lisa, she is a phycologist.


I was asking Lisa about her funniest memory. She recalled something that had happened last year when she was babysitting for her sister. She said that this was one of her funniest  memories, but also one of her scariest. She kept laughing when telling the story, so you can only imagine how much she was laughing when it actually happened! Oh, so here it is.



“I was at the zoo with my 2 year old nephew, Liam. Liam always carries around a stuffed animal, and on this day he had a penguin. I thought bringing a stuffed animal to the zoo would be fine, I was wrong. We walked around to see all the animals and finally came upon the lions. The male lions were really far away, in the back of the exhibit. However the female lions were right by the glass viewing window. When the lioness started walking towards us I didn’t think anything of it, but then she tried to pounce on Liam’s penguin through the glass. Right at that moment a number of things happened. Liam started screaming, all the other parents got really excited, and all the other kids got scared. The lioness, having just perceived a glass window as something else, walked away looking awful confused, and I just started laughing so hard. As things start to calm down all the other parents start cheering for us to put the penguin back up there, so the lion would do it again. I proceed to tell the other parents that my nephew was scared but they wouldn’t have it, they all were very angry with me. Liam looked very scared and started telling me he wanted to leave, he suggested we go see the giraffes, and I though that was a fabulous idea.

Now, a message from Lisa Firestone to all of you: Don’t sit near the lionesses, don’t anger other parents, and don’t take a stuffed animal to the zoo, no matter what the circumstances.